What the quiet person on your team is thinking

Meetings are for talking and can become dominated by a few louder voices. As a manager trying to run an efficient meeting, it’s normal to take at face value what is being said. Unfortunately, social dynamics and culture can make communication more complicated than meets the eye. In many Western organizations, people who express their opinions the most are often rewarded. There is nothing particularly wrong with this, but if you want to engage and empower the diverse members of your team, it’s valuable to understand those who are speaking less. What does silence mean? What is the quiet person on your team thinking?

They don’t feel that it is safe or appropriate to speak.

This could be due to a few things. Maybe this is a new team or they are a newer member. Maybe one person is always speaking and the rest feel discouraged from sharing. How you conduct yourself in and out of meetings sends a message to your teammates. As the leader, you can create conditions where people feel safe to express their opinions, such as setting the tone of the project with a successful initial meeting and managing discussions with strong facilitation skills.

They disagree.

Silence does not mean consent. Some people won’t say anything even when they don’t agree. It can put you in an awkward position after you finally realize their position after assuming everyone was on the same page. It can be frustrating as a leader, but it’s important not to jump to judgment. Sometimes this issue can be easily resolved by communicating expectations. Sometimes it’s a sign of a deeper issue, and it will take a direct or private conversation with this individual to understand their thinking.

They agree.

Wonderful! But are you willing to make that assumption and leave it up to chance? Ask directly during the meeting if people have any thoughts and concerns they’d like to add. If you are still getting to know how this teammate operates, have a brief check-in with them.

There are cultural differences at play.

In some Asian cultures, it is not appropriate to express direct disagreement and subordinates are taught that compliance leads to efficiency. Agreement is also passively given. There can be a lot of passive, nonverbal communication, and it can be incredibly hard to identify if you are not from that culture. In these situations, it helps to build cultural intelligence and be aware of this dynamic. As a leader, there is a balance of setting expectations for communication and understanding what backgrounds others are coming from.

As a project leader, your job is to direct but also to facilitate collaboration. Ultimately, knowing your teammates and building relationships will make a difference in how smoothly and effectively your projects run. A lot of ambiguity is eliminated if you understand different personalities and what their silence means.